Constantly

I hate having to think about the future.
I hate having to worry about money or have I saved enough this month to pay all the bills
I hate that I'm not famous yet
I hate the roles I'm given and the fact that good ones are passed to idiots will smaller waist lines.
I hate having to be somebody's maid and wash their socks for each show
I hate having to smile and say everything is alright
I hate my ex-boyfriend for not calling me once to find out how I am
I hate him for not even trying
I hate not having my dad around to lean on
I hate kissing you and never knowing if you'll ever be mine
I hate how the voices in my head taunt me constantly
And I'm tired
Just so tired and scared
I'm so afraid of the future and I don't even want to be around to see it.
One day.
One fine day I'll find the courage to walk off that ledge.